"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (attributed to Edmund Burke, 1729-1797)
Just before I start my talk this morning, I want to say two things: firstly, how proud I was of the behaviour of all of you on Tuesday last week, at our Remembrance Service. I have had a good number of comments from Governors and parents who were uniformly impressed by the way in which you all behaved. It was a really excellent service and you conducted yourselves impeccably – thank you.
Secondly, I would like publicly to thank Mrs Bourne, whose talks on the role of the British Legion on the previous two Mondays helped to inform the context of our remembrance. Modern conflicts, such as those on Iraq and Afghanistan, bring a new public awareness of the ongoing sacrifices and human costs of conflicts around the world. Mrs Bourne’s talks highlighted the wonderful work of the British Legion, not just in distributing that annual symbol of remembrance – the poppy – but more importantly in supporting, caring for and representing millions who have served or are currently serving in the Armed Forces, and their dependants – many of whom continue to pay the price, mentally and physically, for their sacrifices in conflict.
But now to my theme for today, which is to make you aware of national ‘Anti-Bullying Week’, which starts today. Bullying is defined by the ‘Anti-Bullying Alliance’ as the intentional, repetitive or persistent hurting of one person by another, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. As I am sure you know, bullying can take different forms, such as physical, verbal, indirect (spreading nasty stories about someone, excluding people from social groups) and cyber-bullying (via mobile, text, email, website, instant messaging or video). Some media of bullying may be new, but the instinct to bully, surely, is old as humanity itself.
It is easy, perhaps, to think of bullying as a two-dimensional problem: something between the bully on the one hand and the victim on the other. But what I want to get across this morning is that, in the vast majority of cases, there are at least three parties involved wherever bullying is allowed to persist: the bully, the victim, and the bystander.
Bullying happens in a social context, not in a vacuum. The bystander is part of that social context. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase ‘innocent bystander’ – usually in the context of someone who ends up hurt through no fault of their own. What do we mean by a bystander in a bullying situation? Well, we simply mean a person who does not become actively involved in a situation where someone else requires help. What I want to say to you this morning is very simple: when it comes to bullying, there is no such thing as an innocent bystander. If, as I asserted in a recent assembly, the culture of this school is hostile to bullying, then there is no room for bystanders.
This may sound naive. I am sure that many of us have been bystanders at some time or other – and there are some perfectly understandable motivations in a school context. Perhaps you know what’s right, but find it difficult to act on that in the reality of peer group life. Perhaps there is sense of a diffusion of responsibility among the crowd. Perhaps there is a concern for your own safety and a fear that standing up to bullying will make you the next victim. Perhaps you worry that you don’t really have the skills required to intervene effectively – you might even make things worse for the victim.
All of that is understandable, but it doesn’t make it OK. If you stand by and just watch a playground fight, or watch a developing argument in a corridor, you are like an audience at a play: you engage in the spectacle. Even if you do not become actively involved, you encourage the perpetrators, who will feel driven on by the audience. Bystanding, therefore, is not passive. ‘Doing nothing’ has a real impact on events, and may cause harm.
The way in which bystanders affect the situation varies according to the type of bystander. Academic studies in Finland recognised several types. There are the ‘assistants’ – who join in and assist the bully. Then there are the ‘reinforcers’: those who do not actively attack the victim, but who give positive feedback to the bully, perhaps by laughing, and providing an audience. Then there are the ‘outsiders’: those who stay away, not taking sides, but who allow the bully to continue by their ‘silent approval’. All of these are bystanders; none of them is entirely innocent.
The alternative to being a bystander is to be a ‘defender’, by which I mean someone who exhibits anti-bullying behaviour, someone who comforts the victim, takes their side, and tries to stop the bullying. Remember the famous phrase attributed to Edmund Burke: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
So if you find yourself in danger of becoming a bystander, remember, there are things you can do instead. Tell an adult. Tell an older child – a prefect, perhaps, or a senior pupil you know and trust. Comfort the victim and encourage them to tell someone. Show your disapproval to the bully – tell the bully to stop if it is safe to do so.
Bullying is therefore a social phenomenon. Either intentionally or unintentionally, almost all within a social group will have a role to play, whether as active participants or as bystanders who are unable or unwilling to act. Peer group morality is a powerful moderator of behaviour. Put more simply, if you and your peers decide, and demonstrate through your behaviour, that bullying is not acceptable, than it cannot flourish. That’s my message for Anti-Bullying Week – and it’s a message which is valid for the other 51 weeks of the year as well.